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    Movie Reviews

    Horror

    Horror movie reviews

    Scary Movie 5-Teen Movie Review

    Spooky things began to happen when Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan spent the night together, and were found dead the next morning. So Charlie’s brother Dan, and his rocker girfriend, Jody (Ashley Tisdale) adopted the deceased couple’s three young children. The new family experienced some unusual activity in their home, and eventually realized that they were being stalked by a demon… things got even stranger!!!  Scary Move 5 is the fifth installment in the spoof series; a film I don’t recommend for kids!

    Click here for Movie Bucket Ratings!

    Zero Buckets!

    scary movie 5Rating: 0 out of 5 buckets
    Release Date: April 11, 2013
    MPAA Rating: PG13
    Best Age Group: None
    Sexual Content: Excessive
    Violent/Disturbing Content: Excessive
    Crude or Profane Language: Excessive
    Drugs and Alcohol Content: Excessive
    Will Kids Like It? No

     

    See the trailer here!

    Talking Points:

    This is not a film for kids, it’s inappropriate and disgusting!  However, parents need to be aware that kids may want to see this movie, as it stars Ashley Tisdale from Disney Channel’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, and also the star in the High School Musical film series. Though rated PG13, with the excessive sexual content and language, it could have been rated R. To top it off, there are no redeeming qualities or great messages either!

    Sexual Content: Excessive

    • The opening scene shows Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan spending the night together.
    • We see videos of Jody (Ashley Tisdale) sexually involved with  strange objects such as a plant and microwave.
    • We saw two naked women in the shower, covered with soap suds.
    • While on drugs, Jody and her friend proceeded to have sex, we saw them in their bra and undies.
    • There are a lot of sexual references with regards to body parts, incest, oral, sex, masturbation and more.
    • The book Fifty Shades of Grey, was referred to in a dream involving whips and sexual toys.

    Violent/Disturbing Content: Excessive

    • A group of possessed Christians physically mutilated themselves. To name a few of the things, we saw character’s cutting themselves with blades and power tools, a women sliced her tongue, another cut off her own arm, and a man sawed off his leg.
    • Dan and Jody punched each other, and their adopted kids. This was done in a slapstick way, but still disturbing and not funny!
    • Jody accidentally bumped her baby’s head on a door. A baby’s hair was set on fire, and a newborn was kicked across a stage. All this was meant to be done in a comedic way; though once again…not funny!!

    Crude or Profane Language: Excessive

    • The f-word was said once. “Sh-t,” “h—,” “a–,” “d–n,” and “b–ch,” are said throughout the film.

    Drugs and Alcohol Content: Excessive

    • Character’s take Ecstasy.
    • We see characters drinking at parties.
    • Two rappers steal a bundle of weed.

    Will Kids Like It? No

    Overall this was an inappropriate film, one I do not recommend for kids, or anyone for that matter!!! See Here Comes the Boom instead, it’s still in theaters.

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    Warm Bodies – Teen Movie Review

    Love conquers all, even when it involves a relationship between the living and the dead. When zombie R (Nicholas Hoult) see’s beautiful human girl, Julie (Teresa Palmer), it’s love at first sight. Initially Julie is scared of R, however after a few days of being captured at the zombie compound, Julie and R develope a strong connection, that will ultimately transform R and the other zombies. Warm Bodies is a powerful love story, one that mature pre-teens and teenagers will enjoy.

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    A Haunted House – Teen Movie Review

    A Haunted House centers around the lives of a young couple named Malcom (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins). Life was going well, the love birds finally moved into their dream house in Los Angeles. Malcolm was so excited that he even decided to record everything. However, not long after they moved in together, strange things began to happen. There were unexplained noises, doors began to open by themselves, and their sex life was on hold. Malcolm eventually found out that it wasn’t the house that was haunted, it was the girl. Things began to get really interesting as Malcolm recruited a racist ghostbuster, a gay psychic and a just out of jail priest, to exorcise the ghost once and for all. A Haunted House is a comedy, horror spoof film, NOT for kids of any age.

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