Dark Shadows Review

I bet Barnabas wished his ex’s lived in Texas.It’s the late 1700’s where we first meet Barnabas Collins, an extremely handsome and wealthy man. So when Barnabas breaks up with his girlfriend, Angelique, for another women, his life dramatically changes… for the worse. Angelique, who happens to be a witch, is so furious with Barnabas that she not only kills Barnabas’ parents and his new girlfriend, she even turns poor Barnabas into a vampire and puts him in a coffin; hoping he’ll suffer for eternity. Two hundred years later, Barnabas is set free, and returns to his ancestral home , where he’s desperately needed to protect the family from his evil ex-girlfriend. Based on a television series, Dark Shadows has it all; romance, comedy, sci-fi and horror, but not the right movie for kids.

Rating: 2 out of 5 buckets
Release Date: October 2, 2012
MPAA Rating: PG13
Best Age Group: 14+
Sexual Content: Excessive
Violent Content: Excessive
Crude or Profane Language: Moderate
Drug and Alcohol Content: Moderate
Will Kids Like It? Yes

See a clip of my review here!

See the trailer here!

Talking Points:

Barnabas’ father tells him that “family is the only real wealth.” It’s quite apparent that Barnabas truly cares for his family. He tries to restore the family fortune and good name.

Barnabas is a vampire, and by nature he is thirsty for human blood, therefore he kills many people throughout the film. However Barnabas is a good guy, he truly cares for a young disturbed boy, who sees visions of his deceased mother. Barnabas comforts him and becomes an important influence in his life.

Though I liked the movie, and found it to be strange, but entertaining, I strongly feel this is not for kids. Parents need to be aware of the excessive violence and sexual contents in the film. Depending on the child, I would say that this is appropriate for kids ages 14 and up.

Sexual Content: Excessive

• Barnabas and Angelique are shown having a sexual encounter. They roll around all over the place, clawing each other, and destroying everything around them.
• It’s implied that a couple is having oral sex, we see the women’s head moving towards the man’s waist.
• Angelique takes off her panties and puts them on Barnabas’ face.
• Two character’s engage in sex, while another character guards the door.
• Angelique and Barnabas discuss all the places they’ve made love.
• Angelique forces Barnabas to press his hand on her chest, while she reaches down to touch his privates.

Violent Content: Excessive

• Barnabas kills many innocent people.
• We see Barnabas hit one man’s head against a pipe, and he bites another man’s neck.
• We hear several victims scream.
• There’s a scene where statues come to life and attack people.
• We see a child taken into an insane asylum; she is treated with shock therapy and is shown screaming in pain. This was disturbing to me, and will most likely disturb kids.
• Barnabas grabs a man by his neck and lifts him up.

Crude or Profane Language: Moderate

• The “sh-t,” “a–,” ‘b–ch,” “b–tard,” “h–l,” and “d–n,” are all used.

Drugs and Alcohol Content: Moderate

• Characters smoke marijuana, drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.

Overall this film has many inappropriate parts that parents need to be aware of before sending their kids. If your pre-teen wants to see this film, and you’re okay with it, I recommend going with them, but be ready to cover their eyes.

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